An ugly word in an of itself and with it comes to mind things like, dark alley way, roofies, a strange person, a strange place…
It was not until very recently, (this past week), that I could definitely call it rape, and it had nothing to do with any of the above.
For too long, I’d just accepted that it was this ugly thing between he and I, which’d happened once upon a time. And since I’d not fled the pending situation, despite my fear, and even refusal, I could not stop it. It was completely without rhyme or reason…
What happened was tearing me apart, but all I could do was step out of my skin. I watched myself struggle. I watched myself cry. I watched myself wrestle him off me, when he had me pinned down on the ground, by my wrists.
Over time, every now and again, the scene played itself to me, & though I believed I’d cleared it on my own, recently – in the heat of a moment – much like a tsunami, it all came rushing back to the forefront of my mind.
I froze, got up and walked away. I realized I’d been on autopilot, & stepped out of my skin again – despite the fact that it was entirely different situation.
Despite that fact that the sun was shining straight ahead of me, but I couldn’t see it as it was overshadowed by the rape. -It was still stuck in every single cell of my body, & in that very moment, each cell replayed past events like a motion picture.
This is precisely why I’d consulted with Juraj (Yurai) Šipkovský, a FasterEFT coach, who’d already helped other women, (& specializes in) clearing blocks related to sexual trauma. Even knowing the power of EFT, doing it often, this was the first time I’d had to go beyond myself to resolve an issue.
Juraj was incredibly gentle, and I felt totally at ease throughout the whole process. Whilst tapping, coupled with his compassionate guidance, we cleared the block and carried on working through others that showed up.
I am infinitely grateful to regain something in me, that I hadn’t known was lost.
In releasing this block, I made a very conscious decision to share it with You. -You, who is questioning yourself for that ugly THING that happened. It doesn’t have to be kept inside.
This thing happened in my life, but now it’s just a story, it’s not my life.
Love & Peace ❤