We bid our farewells, and even before my return home, to Slovakia, I commenced my shift, which started with a sense of routine.
As it 2013 fast approached it’s end, there were plenty of ‘New Year’s Resolutions,’ flying around and something that resonated with me was a “30 day challenge.”
As lame as it may sound, (and likely you too saw it flying around all over social media), it was the “30 Day Squat Challenge,” whereby by the end of 30 days, you’ve progressed up to doing 300 squats. This spoke to me and I did it. What it proved was that I still needed time away from the fitness world as I’d known and been part of for so many years, (at the time, I still saw it as a crutch, so steered clear of any sort of fitness I’d done before, despite the fact that there was weight to be lost), but more importantly, routine was coming.
One of the other ’30 day challenges,’ I did in unison, was going to bed and waking up early. Normally, as I’d put off my squats all day, I’d do them right before bed, and then awake to do the Five Tibetans, neither of which I saw as exercise, rather as movement, further unifying my body and mind. Again, I wasn’t ready for “fitness,” yet.
Food wise, I needed a detox, and just having been home, I picked up a few Ayurvedic tips and tricks from mom. I ate neutrally for 30 days– lentils & rice, with tumeric, ginger and cumin seeds. That helped tremendously, as I started to feel clean.
Introducing my Mentors – they who held the torch with me, and led me further into this new realm.
Whist at home, until the healing with my folks, I was actually mildly depressed. I remember one morning, not wanting to leavemy room, not wanting to show my parents the grey cloud above and inside me–not again.
That’s when I came across Louise Hay, the “queen of affirmations.” I think I may have already been using affirmations before, but they started to make more sense to me.
Over the course of three or four days, upon waking up each morning, I would watch the film, “You Can Heal Your Life,” for a few minutes, or as long as I had needed to be able to walk out of my bedroom without the cloud- it worked.
Eventually, I got up feeling at peace again, even before the 31 December healing.
Louise Hay led me to Dr. Wayne Dyer.
Dr. Dyer spoke directly to my heart. I cannot tell you how much time I spent listening to his calming voice, to numerous books, conferences, and interviews. I watched his film, “TheShift,” perhaps three, maybe four times, and it too, resonated with me highly. Through him, I started yoga again, and spent much time in meditation.
Between Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer, things already in me, were being confirmed, things I’d felt for so long.
One of the most beautiful quotes I’d come across, which Dr. Dyer uses often in his talks, was this one, which gives me goosebumps every time:
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds, on the heel that has just crushed it..”
Wayne Dyer, too, also made an introduction, to yet another fascinating character- Dr. Bruce Lipton, a cell biologist, who made some remarkable advances in science in relation to spirit. His book “The Biology of Belief,” turned out to be a kind of bible for me.
The education of my life, had me listening to mostly Wayne Dyer, for hours and hours a day, whilst I was playing with food, concocting new recipes, and designing clothes- all in all, becoming more and more free.
EFT was (and still is), the strongest tool for my healing. Earlier in the year, I got into it half-heartedly, doing it here and there. That changed, some months back when I’d had an excruciating headache for three days. Admittedly, I was lazy about it at first, until I reminded myself about it, and the headache went away in 15minutes, from huge pain, to zero.
And of course, the headache was nothing in comparison to the rape story I just shared, on facebook. FasterEFT is a whole new ballgame for me, and I’m so grateful to Juraj Sipkovsky (Specialist in helping women overcome sexual trauma), for helping me clear it.
I’ll go into more detail about the specifics of how all of these beautiful spirits helped me change my life, with further posts to come about, Affirmations, Meditation and Yoga, Subconscious vs Consious, and of course, EFT.
During this time of “awakening,” I was going through interesting things, namely, financially. After moving back from Central Slovakia, last year, every now and again, I’d break my block and make some money, but nothing really stuck. I went further and further into debt.
Funnily enough, I was asking the universe to be free, to go to a state of zero, and though I’d not meant it, financially, I recieved presicely what I’d asked for. (NB: be very specific about what you ask for, it will come!).
Already in debt, with nothing in my account, I totally freaked out, when collections got on my back about not paying health insurance.
The freak out didn’t last for very long, as I put to practise the things I’d already been learning for months…
“I already have everything I need. Stay in a state of love, as opposed to fear, and things will work out.”
For a while, things did work out. I got collections off my back, but something in me was still blocking money. I contemplated what it meant to me, what about me was preventing its flow?
Again, at zero, I decided to ride with it, giving away much of my clothing, shoes, along with other bits and bobs. Every now and again, when I did have it, I’d give away the last bit of change I’d had, just to see what would happen.
In a state of bliss, and not wanting to be part of the system, I considered taking to the streets, though a voice inside of me laughed and said,
“Seriously? You’ll start organizing and helping others, that’s a step you can skip, kid.”
I listened to my inner voice, and indeed, did skip that step, but I don’t for a moment, take for granted that I could be on the streets at any time.
Whilst I still don’t have a permanent home, I don’t consider myself homeless, in the way I thought I might be, some months ago.
In getting back up on my feet, there have been numerous angels along the way, allowing me the space and time to do my thing. To be born again into a beautiful day, day in and day out, doing “seva,” or, helping others.
So, giving way to the old adage, “earning a living,” I began. In fact, it would be more appropriate to say, I started to earn my life, but not before almost 2 months in nature, over at Dobry Rocnik, where dear kindred spirits, Michaela & Pavol Strycek, helped bring out the best in me. Before going there, the idea of being a proper nomad really felt good to me, living on the very edge of the system, but instead, ‘The Winds of Change,’ blew me back to Bratislava, my heart.
Today, I am that, I am. I continue to do what I love, and love what I do- back to my artist roots. I write, I cook, I design, I use my voice, and quite often, I do nothing at all- each of which to me, equates to love, love for me. But what brings me great joy, and in equal measure, is helping others heal themselves, like I’ve done with myself.
Going back to my parents, and our Healing time together, what I’d not said in the last post, I will now.
They actually didn’t say so much, but they hadn’t needed to. They listened, and they proved to me that they had within them, all along, what I accused them – years earlier – of not having. Unconditional love. The very thing I’d been searching for everywhere, was always right in front of me- my greatest gift, and lesson.
The Education of My Life, from 19 July, 1996, to 31 December, 2013, prepared me for the most intense dictation – from Louise Hay, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Bruce Lipton, and Nick Ortner, (and of course, all the teachers in my life, all my angels, even those who pained my heart at one time or another), over the past year.
Death would be my graduation, from this University, so until the transition back to light, I carry on.
|A Drop of Sunshine
Officially, with no longer a shadow of a doubt, I know my souls purpose. I’m here to help. I am, and have been for a long time, a “Holistic Coach & Catalyst for Healing, and all I know is that I’m supposed to share this with you.
I don’t have a piece of paper, with a signature confirming anything.
My whole life – The Healing Project – is my signature.