Notes from DAY 6
Yesterday was fairly uneventful.
Had a tough time getting out of bed, and when I did, I went to the bathroom, then feeling tired and heavy, fell back into bed.
Bless him, Yurai brought me coffee and water though I left them for several minutes.
I laid until I decided I would to start my day.
I sat up in bed, did some tapping/EFT for a few minutes to release the tiredness and already felt better.
Took my coffee, drank it slowly like it was the juice of life, whilst staring ahead at the wall. I fell into a trance, focusing on the edge of where the wall meets the ceiling, until the edge disappeared.
I’d hung an old placard in our room, that I found a few days ago amongst my old journals, which I’d not read since I hung it (already feels like moons ago). It’s called ‘A Precious Human Life,’ by Dalai Lama. I smiled to myself, as I read it. Got up, felt very much renewed, and went to greet Yurai a good morning, followed by the water meditation.
All in all, it was the toughest day yet. Was feeling a little low, so naturally, I was hungry, but without food, (my one and only crutch), I could only do but one thing: find the source of my lowness, and work on it, so I did a fair amount of tapping.
Coffee is making it’s way out, which I’m more ok with, as it doesn’t do anything for me. It’s solely for taste.
Notes from DAY 7
Tougher than yesterday, a lot tougher.
Am premenstrual, and so much is surfacing. Without any distractions, food included, there’s only one way for stuff that’s buried inside of me to go- out. I wouldn’t be doing all this if I wasn’t ready for it.
OF course with the way that I was feeling, I craved food, the mental painkiller, which I didn’t give in to.
No bowel movements, and regular bladder releases.
Drank a coffee with milk in a later afternoon for the taste, was dreamy 😉
Though I feel tired physically, sleep does not come easily.
(Overnight) Very odd dream of being in lush greenery, with many people, surrounded by a couple of buildings, which turned into a battle scene by night.
It was the US vs the Taliban, and I was lucky to be in the back pocket of the American troops watching from a building. Saw the last Taliban tank being blown up, but oddly, could still see men walking around in the fire. I’d cheered when that last tank was hit, and one of the men on fire turned to me, getting ready to fire. Scene ended.
A double moon was present that evening, and the next day everything was back to lush green.
An innocent woman in a beautiful satin green dress with white detailing, was with the man she loved for the first time. When she returned from the forest, she was anxious, dropped to her knees in excruciating pain, with blood soaking up her dress from between her legs. She pulled the dress up, and already the baby’s head was visible and within a few moments, it was fully out. But it was no normal child. She’d given birth to a dragon.
Interestingly, as I’d noticed her return from the forest, I observed her beauty and the dress. I observed it carefully, making note of how to replicate and design it for myself. That and, I was born a dragon, according the year of my birth, in The Chinese Zodiac.
Felt tired waking up and prolonged in bed for a bit again. I’ve dropped weight, seems like everything I dropped in 21 days last time, I have in a week this time. I don’t own a scale, hence have no idea how much I weigh, nor is it of any relevance to me.
Second dream whilst napping in daytime:
In my parents old house. Sneaking around to get cookies. My mother was present but didn’t pay attention to my sneaking. Father was also present, as was Yurai.
(Aside) When I was a child, after going to bed, making sure my sisters were asleep, and my parents downstairs watching TV, I’d sneak downstairs to steal some junk food and would bring it up to bed and eat it. As far as I can remember, I never got caught.
In this dream, it was Yurai I was hiding from, and I did everything I could to avoid him seeing me eating cookies.
This dream has reoccurred over and over again in reality, and Yurai is the one person who I’ve been forthcoming with since the beginning of our relationship, and he’s only been supportive. This is not to say it’s so much of a conscious issue anymore, but the dream showed me that the pattern still lives inside of me. I asked him to tap on the issue of food, for me, which led us into other issues, and I felt tremendously relieved.
Finally, feeling like I’m creating more and more. Tonight, I received messages from two people who’ve been on my mind, one just earlier today, and the other in the past few days. Intuition is stronger, and possibly psychic abilities…
:))) a week done, and I’ve made the decision to carry on for another 7 days.
-No coffee, nor any desire for it
-Was outdoors for a little while then walked up 4 flights of stairs which winded me, had a taste of crumbly honey, dissolved it on my tongue, did the trick. 🙂
-Normal bladder movements, and still feeling like there’s something in my bowels which I’ve not yet released. Still holding onto something in my waking life.
-Skin is brighter and circles under my eyes are starting to decrease
-I have to say, my breath is fowl! No amount of brushing is going to release that, and I take it as a natural process of releasing.
-Oddly, I fell into a sneezing frenzy, and my head felt congested, but again, I took it all as a sign of releasing, and no surprise, as we did do some heavy tapping /EFT, see below.
I awoke in a much better mood this morning, and lingered in bed for a while, contemplating before getting up. Yurai, who’s into day 5 now, came back to bed, and we had a lovely chat.
I’m really happy that we’re doing this together, as we’re able to share notes, and are far more aware.
Spending more time meditating, and just being with myself, or even Yurai, in quietness is very much gratifying. Feeling quite blessed, that despite being balanced before, we are even more so now, within our relationship, as well as individually.
The tapping story.
It had been a great day til mid-afternoon, when my mind got stuck on something, which I couldn’t shake off. Yurai volunteered to tap for me and off we went. A few minutes later, and lots of tears on my part, and I was feeling much better.
Off I went for a walk outdoors, into the chilly afternoon, to catch some sun, and allow the wind to clean me further.
Upon my return, my dear husband had already started a bath for me – I am truly the luckiest girl in the world!! –
I bathed, and felt wonderful, though upon stepping out of the bath, albeit it very slowly, I had the most incredible head rush.
I asked Yurai for help and he walk me to bed, tucked me in, and brought me water.
As odd as it may sound, it was an incredulous feeling. My whole body was beating, like you can feel the beat of your heart. I didn’t have an ounce of fear, rather, felt so much peace.
Again I sneezed dozens of times, releasing releasing releasing.
I was there, not sleeping, but calm and still, for perhaps an hour, and when I got up, I was all the better for it.
So much amazing stuff coming from not eating…