Technically, I didn’t go very far, either time. I went into the ‘ashram of my mind,’ and this time, even further.
On the eve of 21 July, I went to bed as usual, though a little excited for the day to come.
My eyes popped open before sunrise, and with both of our phones & computer switched off, I was reliant on the sun to tell me what time it was. Around 5am, I thought – perfect. I had about an hour’s walk ahead of me and wanted to avoid the searing heat, leaving as early as possible.
Off I went, en route to Yurai’s (my husband) place, and what was I to do there?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
As mentioned, I’d already gone into ‘the ashram of my mind,’ a week prior, in my own flat, and was curious to see how I’d be in another environment with no ‘distractions.’
Yurai had also done it around the same time as myself, but for three days. Such an enriching experience, he decided to open his doors to others to be able to delve into the depths of themselves, like we had.
In essence, I was the first to try out his place.
In “The Garden of Peace,” (Yurai’s home), you won’t find much at all.
The Jellyfish room has a mattress on the floor, with a bedside lamp.
The Mandala room has a chair, and Dominika sits atop the window sill.
There is no computer, nor radio, nor TV.
The kitchen is basic, with an empty fridge in a side room, which generally remains off.
There is a juicer, though I opted not to eat or drink at all (besides water).
I had no expectations going in, and just went with my flow. I was curious as to what might come up, especially without even so much as a pen and paper to write or draw this time.
After I arrived, I put my bag down, myself right after, and fell asleep, only to awake some time later to a jackhammer which seemed to be drilling right inside my ear, despite being four floors down.
Before I accepted the noise I was totally annoyed. With acceptance, it faded into the background.
Awake again, and with energy, what to do?
I laid down on the ground in the Mandala room, observing my mind, allowing it to wander.
There wasn’t much there, contrary to the week prior. No anger came up this time, no repetitive negative thoughts for me to deal with, so I went into the love mantra.
“I love you Munjeet Sehra,” was where I started, before sending love to others. Names were just popping into my mind, so I loved the person who showed up.
It was during this time that I became emotional. I was deeply content and at peace already, and when Yurai came up, I felt an even more overwhelming sense of love, in and around me. It was really something wonderful and that was the only time I cried – tears of joy.
I continued to stretch my body and mind, remaining in yoga for much of my stay, without an inkling of physical time. Nothing mattered at all. I realised in the days after that I never paced, nor looked for something to do. Such a different ‘trip,’ from the first one, that I cannot encourage you enough to try.
Having stared at the Mandala, for a long time, I turned round to face the windows, still laying on the ground, looking out at the sky. I used to do this a lot as a child, and started doing it again last year (more regularly), as I find such peace in the sky.
That was my day. In and out of sleep, meditation, drinking water, releasing it…Sometimes I would move back to the jellyfish room to sit/lay on the mattress as opposed to the hard floor.
When there, I spent a great deal of time watching the transparent fuscia jellyfish, which seem to float along the walls. I observed how they were painted, and imagined myself recreating them. It was incredible to see the shades of that room change as darkness set in. The jellyfish turned a more vibrant fuscia, and the water went from a sky blue to a marvellous teal, much like that of the most beautiful beach you can imagine.
Observing this work of art, I imagined myself painting a cherry blossom tree in Yurai’s kitchen. Also in my imagination, I created all kinds of food…All things which made my heart smile. At times, I sang aloud, and I observed this voice I’ve been given, this body, this hair.
As the jellyfish and water transformed at dusk, I listened to and watched the birds outside, playing. Playing like children play. Laughing, singing, dancing in the sky, putting on a great performance.
Out of the blue, I had a notion that birds and cats are are aliens, whilst dogs are more ‘us,’ more human like. Suppose that comes from a lot of observing! 😉
As in the video – an interview with Yurai about my experience – what gave me “stress,” was awakening the following morning, knowing that Yurai was to arrive at 9am, marking the end of my 24 hours in solitude – and that then I would get to create the things of my imagination.
True, I was totally anxious, excited, and raring to go – like a five year old girl, about to go to an amusement park.
What a brilliant experience, and a week later, I feel evermore calm.
My period arrived, with barely any pain this time round. For three months it came with excruciating pain, and that lifted. I was/have been more expressive, in a loving way over the last week – which was a wondrous thing for me to experience….It was, has been ‘awesome,’ for lack of a better word. 😉
I practise some form of solitude when I feel I need to, and am getting used to my body telling me to switch off.
You see, I have days when the last thing I want, is to get on my phone or computer, or see anyone. I too have crappy moments, and sometimes awake feeling out of balance.
This is my form of self-love and self-care, and in switching off, I’m able to carry on living out my dharma, being a source of light for myself first, then others.
Solitude is bliss, and we can do it anywhere, any time. The notion that you have to go far far away, to a distant and eastern land, to find yourself is ok for those who have the means to do so.
Does it work? What happens when you return to your natural/own environment? Can you sustain the richness of what you felt, the things in you that shifted upon your return?
Better perhaps to start in your own space. It doesn’t matter where you go, as the answers are always inside you. So you need not go far, just into the ashram of your mind.
Try going inward in your own home first, and see what happens. Be an observer of you, to then become your own healer.
Huge thanks to my dear husband, for opening up his space, not just for me but for anyone who wishes to go on this inward journey. ❤
Peace, love and light.