…but, Who Are You..? 

It was after watching the epic documentary “Dr. Strange,” a couple of nights ago, that these very words came to me:

Who are you without your partner?
Who are you without your parents?

Who are you without your brothers & sisters-
who are you without your children?

Who are you without your family?
Who are you without your friends?

Who are you without your pet-
that dog to walk, that cat to pet?

Who are you without your colleagues & job?
Who are you without your boss?

Who are you when you’re standing naked in the shower-
Who do you become?


Without everyone and everything, who do you become? What do you do?
What do you not do?

Who do you become?


A few weeks back, I asked the woman at the counter, who was assessing the particulars of my passport for renewal, if she loved her job.

“It’s ok,” she responded.

“What would you LOVE to do,” I then asked?

“To help people,” she said, an answer that so many people come back with.

Is this you? Is it your calling to help others?

My question to you is: 
Who are You, beautiful one, when there is no one to help? 
Who do you become? 

Much love, as always,
xxManj ❤

PS: Do watch Doctor Strange– there’s a good dose of “reality” in there. 😉

 

 

Martyrdom

We’re on to number three in the “Tuesday’s With Manj” first series and this one’s about martyrdom, and more to the point about YOU acting as a martyr for the good of everyone else around you, whilst you suffer inside.

If you wish to view the video, you can do so on facebook by clicking on the picture below, or here for Youtube.

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Martyrdom was a reoccurring theme in numerous conversations this past week- and first of all, I’d like to give thanks to the contributors of this video- you know who you are. ;*

Martyrdom is all fine and well, when it’s coming from a place of absolute love – Gandhi and Mother Teresa come to mind when I think of the word- though that’s not the kind of martyrdom I’m referring to in the video.

 What I’ve noticed is that we’ve got an epidemic of (false) martyrdom going on. In observing, conversing with and listening to others, I’ve picked up on this and asked myself “why?”

Why do we do things for the betterment of others, at the expense of ourselves?  (Again, it’s fine and well if you do something for someone with all your heart, but my darling, if there’s an ounce of unease associated with what you’re about to sacrifice yourself for, please think twice, and consider putting yourself first).  Is it because we feel obligated? 
Is it because we’re afraid of looking selfish, or what others might think in general if we might say “no?” 
Is it because we want to be polite and nice and kind? Fear of rejection?

Why not make yourself the obligation?

Why not be polite and nice and kind to yourself?

It doesn’t make you a bad person to put yourself first,but we do know what happens when we put others ahead of us right?

When in service to others and sacrificing ourselves, for a little while we’re fine, going along with the plot, and then things get weird right?

Resentment builds, and we have conversations in our minds about “being nice, I’m a nice person, nice people do things for others…” but that all ends after a while longer, and we find ourselves swimming in a pool of bitterness, then we get angry, so very angry that we throw things around, we throw tantrums, awful words come hurling out of our mouths towards our partner or colleague etc. We have a melt down, blame others for our state, when really, we caused it all by being dishonest to ourselves. 

 I thank my lucky stars for my husband, Juraj, because that was me, having the ultimate meltdown some months ago, and he literally sat there, patient as heck (to my chagrin- you know what that’s like when you’re having a freak out, and the person you’re freaking out on just won’t engage, and sits there with a smile to boot!). I can honestly say that I wanted to actually throw something at him, or even throw him out the window (I’m laughing now, but wasn’t then), but I’m glad none of that happened. He calmly got up, said he was going for a walk, and headed out the door.  He saw it all, the niceness, not putting myself first – though he often reminds me to- and just waited for me to catch up with myself. 

 I’m grateful to my husband for not giving up on me, for knowing that I’d find my way through the gunk in my mind, and here we are. 🙂 God bless you love. ❤

 Perhaps the throwing and yelling doesn’t resonate with you (it happens rarely, and not something I’m at all proud of), but it happened, and I asked a lot of questions of myself.

 I got in touch with my inner martyr and instead beating the crap out of it (myself), -as we so often do, without knowing, I had a conversation with It, and from that came a whole new practice.

 I’ve learned to really put myself first, and say “no,” when I need to. That doesn’t mean to say that I never do anything for anyone else ever. I still often put others needs in front of my own, my parents for example – bless them – as I’m here in their space, more often than not, I’ll drop what I’m doing to do something with/for them, and sometimes I just ask for their patience, that I’m working on something- “please may we/I do it later,” or even, “I will do it for you, but it won’t be today, mom.”  

 So again, you can still do things for others, before doing things for you, but let’s call it something other than sacrifice, let’s call it making a conscious decision to put someone ahead of us.

Let’s call it love and honor and respect for everyone- with no strings attached. What does that look like? 

Someone asks you for something and it doesn’t quite resonate with you, but you consciously choose not to say no.

You very consciously act, not out of obligation, or to be nice. You’re allowed that too, you see- just be conscious.

You can even be “negative” though as long as you’re conscious about it, you’re not “screwing up your energy/vibration.” And on that note, should you decide to go ahead with whatever it is you didn’t totally want to do, but consciously did anyhow, you might just find it turns into a beautiful experience that it fed your heart and soul in ways you couldn’t imagine. That’s conscious living my friends. I couldn’t sit here and tell you this without living it, and I have over and over again. 

If Jesus said,

“Do unto others as you would have done unto you,”

I ask you to consider this:

“Do unto Yourself, as you would have others do unto You.

 Love yourself first, for the (eventual) betterment of all. You first. 

If you’re looking for love, 
Be the love for yourself that no one else can be and only you know how to be for you.

 If you’re looking for support, 
Be the support for yourself that no one else can be and only you know how to be for you.

If you’re looking for praise, admiration, adoration, 
Be the praise, admiration, adoration, for you that no one else can be, or knows how to be for you.

 By starting with these practices, you will be amazed and surprised over and over again (at first), at how others will have changed towards you. When you begin to practice being the love/praise/adoration/admiration for yourself that you’d previously desired/expected from others, others will respond. You will start to emit a different frequency, a frequency of love, and my dear, that is what you will attract.

Let’s just keep practicing ok? We didn’t learn how to walk in a heartbeat, and as infants, deeply connected to source, it just happened. Have faith, you’ll get there, but come to here and now first.

Lots of love to you ❤

Woe-is-Me….Nothing Ever Goes Right

Back in late summer (2016), after a hiatus from social media, with great compulsion, I returned, and of all things, (with fear shoved in my back pocket 😉 ), went live on facebook.

So much had gone on,  and I just had the urge to start speaking. Things/subjects were flying at me in such a way that I chose to speak it out rather than write. (Though I ended up writing follow ups to the videos).

This is the first of 16 “Tuesday’s With Manj” videos, called “Victimhood/Self Pity.” Much has changed since I started doing the videos, I mean I changed a heck of a lot. I think another season of TWM is calling, but for now, I’ll be sharing the first season here, every Tuesday. 😉
(Should you not have facebook, you may view the video here on Youtube). 😉

Tuesday’s With Manj #1: Victimhood/Self Pity from Facebook Live  

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I would ask you to try something I’ve put into practice over a long time, and much more so over the past months releasing all kinds of crap, and getting more in tune with me.

 Whatever you are feeling, feel it with great intensity. Be the champion of feeling like shit. Be the champion of feeling like a loser, that no one could ever love you, that you can’t seem to find “the one.” Be the champion of anger, of frustration, of blame…Feeling like a victim, by all means, be the greatest “victim” in the entire galaxy. Feeling sorry for yourself? So go on, and feel sorry even more, for all that you don’t have, or all that never ever works out- I beg you to feel what is going on, rather than resisting it. 

And I ask you to keep it all to yourself. What you feel is no one else’s business, just like if someone is reaming at you, it’s not your business. I’ll get further into this train of thought in the next video, but for now, whatever you feel, bring it to the table of your thoughts and sit with it. Get still with it. Listen with your entire heart, to what Anger, Guilt, Shame, Self-pity, Self-loathing etc., are saying to you.

Everything is here to help us. The “shit” that comes from within, is also you, much like the physical elements of yourself, like your arms, or legs.  If you can honor and respect it (the shit), as much as you do someone you love deeply, and give it thanks, it will leave the table of your thoughts, bored as heck. That, my darlings, is emotional freedom.

I think we’ve got this whole self-help thing backwards….Forget about pretending to be/acting positive, when what you feel like is the opposite. Get honest with yourself and feel what it is you feel.

The Law of Attraction works, always. If you are trying to convince yourself of something which your heart is not yet aligned with, it’s not even that you don’t attract the thing you desire, you keep attracting dishonesty. Slow down, take baby steps.

Feeling like crap and being honest about it to yourself is life changing, one honest confession at a time. And guess what? Even if you feel the worst you’ve ever felt in your life, by consciously giving yourself permission to feel that way, rather than just feel that way (without permission), then you raise your vibration because of the allowance and honesty- that, my dear, is self-love.

Whilst we’re on the topic of the Law of Attraction, once you start getting honest with yourself, that’s what you start to attract and manifest into your life. Better job, better relationships, better meals, better intuition, better everything…Everyday, in every way, you will get better, better and better, and the things/people which/who no longer resonate will start to dissipate. You choose- this is your precious life.

And may I gently remind you, you are all perfect, and we are all blessed.
Be kind to You and each other.

Lots of Love to You, dear One. ❤